If I were an adult

If I were an adult

If I were an adult

A funny and instructive story by Dragunsky about how Deniska imagined himself as an adult. The boy dreamed about how he would reprimand his father, mother and grandmother for misbehavior: being late, walking without a hat, talking at dinner, etc. It is useful for all adults to read this story in order to look at themselves from the outside …

If I were an adult read

Once I sat and sat, and for no reason at all suddenly thought up such a thing that I was even surprised myself. I thought how nice it would be if everything around the world was arranged the other way around. Well, for example, for children to be in charge in all matters and adults should have to obey them in everything, in everything. In general, adults should be like children, and children like adults. That would be great, it would be very interesting.

Firstly, I imagine how my mother would “like” such a story that I walk around and command it as I want, and dad probably wouldn’t like it either, but there’s nothing to say about my grandmother, she would probably spend whole days from me would roar. Needless to say, I would show them how much a pound is worth, I would remember everything!

For example, my mother would be sitting at dinner, and I would say to her:

“Why did you start a fashion without bread? Here’s more news! Look at yourself in the mirror, who do you look like? Powered Koschey! Eat now, they tell you! – And she would eat with her head down, and I would only give the command: – Faster! Don’t hold your cheek! Thinking again? Are you solving the world’s problems? Chew properly! And don’t rock in your chair!”

And then dad would come in after work, and he wouldn’t even have time to undress, and I would have already shouted:

“Ah, he came! You always have to wait! my hands now! As it should, as it should be mine, there is nothing to smear the dirt. After you, the towel is scary to look at. Brush three and spare no soap. Come on, show me your nails! It’s horror, not nails. It’s just some claws! Where are the scissors? Don’t move! I do not cut with any meat, but I cut it very carefully. Don’t sniffle, you’re not a girl. Like this. Come to the table, sit down.”

He would sit down and quietly say to his mother:

“Well, how are you?”

And she would also say quietly:

“Nothing thanks!”

And I would immediately:

“Table talkers! When I eat, I am deaf and dumb! Remember this for the rest of your life. Golden Rule! Papa, put down the newspaper now, you are my punishment!”

And they would sit with me like silk, and when my grandmother came, I would squint, clasp my hands and wail:

“Dad! Mum! Take a look at your grandma! What a view! The chest is open, the hat is on the back of the head! Cheeks are red, the whole neck is wet! Okay, nothing to say. Admit it, I played hockey again! What is that dirty stick? Why did you bring her into the house? It’s a stick! Get her out of my sight right now—to the back door!”

Then I would walk around the room and say to all three of them:

“After dinner, everyone sit down for lessons, and I’ll go to the cinema!”

Of course, they would immediately whine and whimper:

“And we are with you! And we also want to go to the cinema!”

And I would them:

“Nothing, nothing! Yesterday we went to a birthday party, on Sunday I took you to the circus! look! I enjoyed having fun every day. Sit at home! Here you have thirty kopecks for ice cream, and that’s it!”

Then the grandmother would pray:

“Take me at least! After all, each child can bring one adult with him for free!”

But I would shirk, I would say:

“And people over seventy years old are not allowed to enter this picture. Stay at home!”

And I would walk past them, deliberately tapping my heels loudly, as if I don’t notice that their eyes are already wet, and I would start getting dressed, and I would turn around in front of the mirror for a long time, and sing, and that would make them even worse. would suffer, and I would open the door to the stairs and say …

But I did not have time to think of what I would say, because at that time my mother came in, the real one, alive, and said:

You are still sitting. Eat now, look who you look like? Powered Koschey!

(Illustr. Sher AS)

If I were an adult If I were an adult If I were an adult If I were an adult If I were an adult If I were an adult